This is a timeline of events as they are unfolding in real time*. Yes. This is a snapshot of what a crazy person does with his life.*

June 26, 2021 Phoenix Syndrome Kickoff Party for my photography show in Seaport Village was a massive success. Dennis-Michael coordinated the day of. All my Justified Hype crew came out and supported. Dylan got to see his art direction and design knock it out of the park. Live Hip-hop performances. I think around 200ish people came and went throughout the day. So many friends, so much love.

July 10, 2021 Final night of Phoenix Syndrome photography show in Seaport Village. The Miscreants showed the fuck up for us and we had an amazing breakdown party with music and whiskey shots.

July 17, 2021 to August 1, 2021 A complicated period of time. Beautiful experiences and adventures intermixed with a great deal of grief and depression. I move to LA and am operating at maybe 30%.

August 2, 2021 I’ve been living in my new Pasadena home for 10 minutes and some texts from a friend convince me to go to the renegade Burning Man on a whim.

August 3, 2021 Walking around alone under the clear playa sky gives me clarity I haven’t had since before my photography show. I forget every year what power this place has. I begin to remember who I am and what I’ve accomplished so far. I decide to intentionally trigger my own phoenix experience. Fuck this depression bullshit.

September 1, 2021 to October 31, 2021 I want to do 50 things. I keep trying to hone in my focus on photography and nothing else - because as Mike Sager said to me, I need to stop “changing my major.” How can I double down on what I am good at? What is my favorite paint brush? It is around this time that I start inventorying what breathes life into me and what feels like a burden. My community... I’m not a fake. People trust me and have confidence in me and I in them. I want to come out of music video retirement, have an excuse to do more Shadow Work (in my photography and personal journey) and I want to channel energy towards my loved ones. I explore this and remember that Dylan had been saying, in passing and in the past, that he want’s to bring a phoenix to Burning Man. I’m having my own phoenix chapter right now... What if I do all the things I already know I crush it at and it’s all channeling energy towards a project I feel great about and a person/cause I love? What if this can be the year that I really let fucking loose? How can I utilize the basic rule of design (consistency and variety) to this coming year?

November 1, 2022 I decide to pitch Dylan the idea of this phoenix collaboration. I dunno how I’m gonna pull this off. I’m aware that parts of it aren’t gonna come together. And that’s why I want each creative focus to live independently and not as a part of a “plan.” I want to do cool shit and the byproduct of it will be that people will be talking about phoenix shit all around us. I’ve almost decided to call Dylan and pitch this to him.

November 3, 2021 I keep putting off calling Dylan. Depression. Self doubt. Unworthiness. Who the fuck am I. What’s the point. I can’t help anyone. I can’t even help myself.

November 5, 2021 I didn’t think I’d fully committed. But there is a Pink Heart party happening in San Diego I’m driving down to. As I leave the house, something about being in my car makes me feel safe enough to call him and tell him what I’m thinking. So I say fuck it and I call him. He just listens as I explain this ridiculous idea and I keep talking because part of me feels like once I stop talking, he’s going to hesitate and say he needs to think about it. So as long as I keep talking, I’m still feeling this nice feeling of hope in my belly instead of grief. Finally I run out of words. He laughs and says, “dude... all I did was write it down.” He shuffles around and pulls up his notebook in which he’d written just the night before: “Talk to Arash about phoenix.”